Fred's Story

I started experimenting with alcohol in my early teens. We would either steal it or get someone

to buy it for us. This continued through High school and my senior year I was expelled for drinking in school.I got a job after being expelled at a cafe washing dishes, and they had alcohol that they used for cooking called Ever-clear which was 190 straight grain alcohol, we would

steal it and mix it with lemon-lime or 7-up,and really get messed up on that. I had my first black-out on it I didn't remember anything for 3 days. That job was soon terminated because of drinking and not showing up for work, I was 18 years old at the time. I then got a job in Salt

Lake City, Utah. Working in a potato chip factory, the boss I worked for was a alcoholic so we got along fine, he also bought us booze anytime we asked for it. I remember driving home many times from Salt Lake City to Provo, Utah which was about 50 miles away, and not remembering how I got there the next day. I was soon fired from that job because I was constantly late or just didn't show up for work. So I recieved unemployment and stayed drunk on that until, I recieved my draft notice for induction into the milatary. That definetly was not in my game plan to go in the service. I reported for induction and was told I was going in the Army, no way was I going into the Army. So I enlisted in the Air Force instead, I left Salt Lake City to go to Lackland AFB,Texas on the 19th of August 1965. I arrived in Texas drunk, I had a phony ID card so I got drunk on the airlines. Then the longest time I could remember without a drink started 60 days. After basic training I was sent to Sheppard AFB,Texas for more training, and there we were allowed to drink again, so I was finally happy again, I could endure anything as long as I had booze, that lasted for 90 days, and graduation from school. I was then sent to McChord AFB, Washington, and the drinking was so much more accepted I drank with the Nco's who would allways buy us booze and we had all the squadron parties. I was allways in trouble but allways managed to get out of it and smell like a rose.

I then got orders for Viet-Nam, 2 weeks before my 21st birthday when I would be legal to drink so I spent my 21st birthday in Viet-Nam, drunk as a skunk. It didn't take me long to get into trouble there, I hit a Vietnamese Officer in the face with a bottle one night and shortly I was transfered again. I found myself in heaven for alcoholics, beer 10 cents a can whiskey $1.05 a quart and most everything else $1.00 or 95 cents a quart. It was there that I met the Aussies, and boy did I ever learn a lesson in drinking I swear they were hollow, but boy did we have fun, we were allways into some sort of trouble. They soon went back to Australia,but I soon found others to party with. I finally left Viet-Nam, and returned to McChord AFB, Washington, that was October 1967. And the drinking continued by then I also was NCO, so I partied harder,had more money thought I had the world bu the tail. I got married in 1969 and the drinking got better I didn't have to spend money on the ladies in the bars anymore. It was then that I got my first drunk driving arrest, spent the night in jail,out the next day and drinking again. Come out smelling like a rose again, had good friends so I thought,I know better today. I then was transfered to Peterson Field, Colorado.

Now I was having fun started flying there, we took the Air force Cadets all over the USA, and got to go to some nice drinking places like Las Vegas, Reno Nevada you could drink for nothing. After one trip on my way I stopped for a few drinks, and got stinko and wrecked my car on the way home totaled it out, spent the night in the hospital, of course the police were there and wanted a blood sample, the Doctor was one of my pilots and he told them he would get it for them so they left. The next morning he took the blood,so all they could get me for was careless driving, another one of those good friends I thought I had. I was then transfered back to Viet-Nam, and boy was it ever party time then more money, and of course I was flying gun-ships so we were into Laos, Cambodia, South Viet-Nam and sometimes on the border of North Viet-Nam, and of course I flew drunk and carried booze with me at all times. No way was I going down sober, besides know one messed with a drunk right? So I spent my year ther and decided to get out of the Air force. So I returned to Utah ,and couldn't find work so I drew unemployment again and sent the wife to work, I stayed home and drank. But never had enough money I re-enlisted in the Air force, and was stationed at Hill AFB,Utah yes back to having enough to drink again and be accepted back into the drinking world I thought so much of.

It wasn't long I got another drunk driving charge, and came out smelling like a rose again,but at no time did I think I had a problem. In 1975 I was sent to Barksdale AFB ,Louisiana I wasn't thrilled about going there I continued to drink and I came home from work on night and my wife and children had left, they had gone back to Washington state. Now I had the green light to get where I had to go in a hurry, I went to work drunk took booze with me,and thought they will never know. One day they called me in early,and told me to do something about my drinking or they would.

So I went to the air-force program called social actions, they sent me to a shrink who put me in the hospital cause I was suicidal and starting DT's and they felt I needed to be where I could be watched. So into the hospital for a week of detox, while there 2 people from AA showed and talked to me I wasn't impressed with there words of wisdom I wasn't that bad yet. I was discharged from the hospital and put on anti-buse medication to make you very ill if you drank on it they made me read the medical book on what would happen if I drank on it. I went back to a new job and put on day shift so I could be monitored. I kept getting calls from a guy named Jim, I didn't know any Jim, so I wouldn't talk to him, I told everyone to tell him I wasn't there, little did I know he would become my sponsor. So I finally ventured to a AA meeting and met Jim, I reaaly like him,but not enough to quit drinking so I kept trying it and I'd get sick but wouldn't give up (sound familiar) even if it killed me and it damned near did. I quit going to meeting and started drinking hard again,but it wasn't fun anymore 2 beers and I was gone. So one night I think I had my spirtual awakening, I had passed out and when I woke up I didn't want to drink anymore,I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. So the next evening I humbled myself and went back to a AA meeting I listened to what everyone had to say,and they asked me if I had anything to share, and I said I Fred and I'm a alcoholic and I've been drunk and I need your help, finally true surrender, I gave up the battle.That was June 6th 1976,and I haven't had a drink since nor do I desire one I asked to remove that from me and he has. I was told to be careful what you prayed for as you might get it, I didn't listen to well I kept trying to get out of Louisiana, and I got orders for Incirlik Turkey, boy was I thrilled 5 months in the program and I'm on my way to a place at the time didn't have any AA groups. So the big book and I decided to maintain sobriety start a group well for about a month it was me the big book and the coffee pot. I was ready to give in and join the other team, when God, Dave to me I don't know who needed who the most.

But now AA had arrived in Turkey. Soon a couple more were sent to AA,and I was sponsoring 3or4 guys and they were sponsoring me but they didn't know that at the time. I soon had almost a year in the program, and I didn't want to celebrate it in Turkey, so I took leave and went toAthen's Greece, found a meeting the first night, and really enjoyed some different AA, I went again the next night and they had a birthday cake for me,I felt the total LOVE of AA what a way to spend your 1st birthday with people who LOVE you and whom you LOVE. When I returned to Turkey we had 2 alanons, and 3 more drunks, boy were we ever growing. We really became close friends we had to stick together to survive. And the my 18 month tour was up, and I was going back to the USA. I was sent to Mountain Home AFB, Idaho, and immediately got envolved in AA full time again, I was soon elected GSR of the base group, and was ond the committee in Boise, Idaho to start the Central Office for the state of Idaho. And attended my first AA conference was totaly impressed and didn't ever want to miss any of those boy what fun and fellowship. After my term as GSR,was up I got envolved in the group in town as they were really struggling and agreed to the office of GSR there,boy GSR in two groups in less than 3 years. And the in 1982 I was transfered to Ellsworth AFB, South Dakota, didn't want to go but again you don't get want you allways want but what you need. I got envolved in the base group there and was soon elected GSR there. Made a couple of conferences in South Dakota, and made many new dear friends there also and soon it was time for me to retire from the Air force. So in June of 1986 I left to return to Idaho, I arrived in Idaho on the 3rd of June and went to a AA meeting on base that night and got real sick, I thought I had heat stroke from that long hot drive back to Idaho. I managed to make it through the meeting,and had a friend take me back to his house, I layed on the floor until about midnight and then I felt fine,so I went to bed.

The next morning I felt great so I went looking for a place to live. And that night I went to a meeting in town at 8:00 pm and about 8:30pm I started getting sick again felt like I had to throw up and my elbows really hurt. So a friend said your going to the hospital and took me to the base hospital emergency room and discovered I was having a heart attack, and they took me to St,Lukes hospital in Boise'Idaho. There they confirmed the heart attack and kept me for a week, so thats where I spent my 10th AA birthday. After I was released I went back to Mountain Home and found a place to live. And the next monday I went back to my AA group in town, I kept getting this feeling of someone starring at me and there was this woman there who kept watching me and it made me very uncomfortable. It wasn't long until we were married 1987. I decided that I wanted to fufil my dream and go back to school to become a chef, so I entered Boise State University in 1988 and was really beginning to really enjoy what I was becomming. Finished the first year and that summer break I had another heart attack, so another week in the hospital and told to go easy as I done alot of heart damage,but I was determined to fufil my dream. So back to school had no problems that year and graduatedin 1990,so decided to take some time off and look around for a place to work, so in October I went to work at the convention center in Boise, and really loved it great people to work with great boss and a very good workplace. Then in January of 1991 I started feeling sick again no energy and no appetite and was retaing water and allways uncomfortable,so I went to work one morning and my boss said you don'y look good go to the doctor. So off I go to see the doctor and he checked me over run some tests and found that I had conjestive heart failure, and was drowning in my on fluids I had 18 pounds of water in my chest,sohe put me on some meds to help me pass the fluids and to help the heart beat better. And told me to come back in a week so the wife and went back in a week and he checked me over made some medicine changes put me on a blood thinner so my heart could pump the blood out of the heart and it wouldn't clot, and said come back next week and we will discuss your options. So the wife and I talked it over and I said I guess he wants to do bypass surgery, and she said so what will you do. I told her I would have the bypass. So when we went in I said we talked it over I have decided to have the bypass surgery, he looked at us and said that isn't one of your options, I talking heart-transplant, needless to say my world ended with that. He said I'm going to call the University of Utah Medical division,and confirm with them to send you down there for evaluation. That was Monday and they called us tuesday and said be there friday. So off we go to Salt Lake City, they seen me friday and addmitted me sunday for a week of tests,boy I've never had so much blood drawn or poked and pushed as they did to me in a week. They discharged me on saturday and told to go home and they would call on tuesday with there results, so on tuesday morning they called and said congratulations Mr.Graves, you have been accepted as a heart transplant candidate. I asked when do I have to be there and they said now. So I called the wife and wok and told her. So she got time off and we movedme to Salt Lake city. She returned to work back in Idaho aand I started the worse time of my life waiting for someone to die and there family todonate there organs so someone else could live.NOT A GOOD FEELING!! so I waited and finally I got the call after waiting just 58 days. When I got the call I called the wife and I then drove to hospital and checked in the 22nd of April 1991 my wifes AA birthday. I was transplanted shortly after midnight the 22nd. Two weeks later I was released from the hospital,but had to stay in Salt Lake City for 6 months for them to make all the med changes but during the heart transplant they herniated two disks in my back and I couldn't walk, so I kinda hobled around until June and had Back surgery there Iam in the hospital for my 15th AA birthday I was beginning to wonder about these AA birthdays. I was finally able to go HOME in October 1991. Nothing ever looked sobeautiful as home did,but I had to go back every month for byopsies.

But now its every 6 months. But I have continued with AA not quite as active as I use to be have to find no smoking meetings which is hard as I still have friends that do smoke,but again it does get better ,its been almost 6 years since the transplant. I do alot of Volunteer work with Idaho Donor network also but AA is very much still in my life and allways will be. Yes it has been worth it and I thank my Higher power every day for His Love and Guidance