Scotland , 13 th Jan. 1997.

Hello ,

My name is Alex , and I'm an alcoholic . The very fact that I was guided to Alcoholics Anonymous allows me the ability to share my experiences with anyone who is interested , because , for me , that is one of the ways I've learned about me , in AA , by listening to other members sharing .I finally admitted that I was totally defeated by alcohol , and that my life was unmanageable ( Although I didn't know that I was doing that 1st Step then ) on May 11th , 1974 , and due to AA , to the Recovery Programme , to my efforts , to the efforts of hundreds of other members , and to lots of patience , prayers and understanding , I have remained free of alcohol since that day , on a daily basis .

I was exceptionally in the people who were in the Fellowship to meet me that day , people who were to play a huge part in my life , my sobriety and my recovery , a day at a time . I still have difficulty in placing Principles before Personalities ocassionally where these people are concerned but they are the first to remind me to do just that !

My last drink , up till now , consisted of a three day blackout , but for years before that , blackouts and I had been old and familiar pals , and my drink always brought trouble at home , at work , and on the road . I was a salesman , and drove about 1000 miles a week in the course of business , and a big percentage of that was whilst drunk , and I never , yet , lost my licence . God knows why not , I don't .

My wife and three children all suffered greatly , physically and mentally from my illness . they were the reason I drank , my wife's nagging and my children's whining !Talk about the cart before the horse !! My weight was 126 pounds when I came to AA , and I had been hospitalised for malnutrition years before , because when I went drinking , I stopped eating since it was a waste of drinking money and time . Drink was my boss for years , and the spiral was ever downwards , into a slough of despond , like the Pilgrim talks about .

It must have been around 1970 that I started to note my falling standards , and even then I denied that drink was responsible for any of the fall . It was my employer , my wife , my doctor , my bank manager , it was anything , but it sure as anything wasn't booze , my old pal and comforter I started about then to read various snippets about the effect of excess booze , but couldn't identify with much of them . I managed to ignore that I sometimes drank my aftershave in the morning , to stop those damned shakes ,which I thought were due to the fact that I was suffering from asthma , and the drug I was prescribed was disagreeing with my system ! I stopped taking the drug , and all that happened was that I still got drunk , but now couldn't breathe either ! I ended in hospital more than once because of this.

After years of excuses , drunks , blackouts , violence at home and elsewhere, on the morning of 11th May , 1974 , coming out of a drunken stupor , it hit me , it was booze ! It was like focussing a camera , you know when you are adjusting the lens that there is only one point where all is in focus , and either side of that point, all is blurred . That's how I remember it , that just for a brief moment ,all was in focus , drink was my problem , not family , job , health , money . It was booze .

After a few phone calls , I eventually was guided to the local Service Centre of AA , and a wee woman , Sadie , proceed to tell me how to regain my sanity by telling me about her life , by sharing , like I'm trying to do now . She guided me to Glasgow , to an AA meeting , and she promised me that someone would meet me there .Thank God Sadie kept her word , and I was to find a lot of that in the days to come , that most people in AA are responsible . I try to do that now , be responsible , but I sometimes fail , but someone always gently or otherwise reminds me what my primary purpose should be at all times .

I joined a Group, in Glasgow . I chose a Sponsor , who had a Sponsor . I got involved , kept sober company ,and did what was suggested to me by my sponsor and group members , on a dailybasis . After a few months of not drinking ( Which , incidentally , I had acheived many times , on my own , in the past ) my sponsor , who is now dead from another illness , told me that I was ready to take certain steps . I had hardly looked at these steps , never mind trying to understand them . But my sponsor , also called Alex , did not take " No" for an answer .

Alex's job was a cop , and he was used to being listened to , and being obeyed ! But he was also patient and understanding , so he watched , waited , then told me to do it !! Together , we grew in AA , and I now know from my own experience that sponsorship is a two way thing , whereas I thought Alex was being condescending when he told me that I was helping him .

Sadly Alex died a couple of years ago , sober , and his example lives on , like others . He was a member of the Monday Group also , and we used to say that he had twelve stepped half of the Group members , and arrested the other half . Either way he helped lots of people , just like me. My sponsor now is the guy who was Alex's sponsor , and life goes on , getting better each day. My three children all have graduated at University , they all have responsible jobs , and wonder of wonders , I am welcome at all of their homes, by them and their spouses . My marriage is better than it was in 1974 , and life is pretty good . I had to accept the fact in July 1996 that I no longer could do my job , due to medical problems , and so now I don't work . This means I now have more time to work for AA , and in this wonderful electronic era , I can do lots of it from home via email and my computer . Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life , and still does . I now have sorted my needs from my wants .

I am responsible today . I'm having myself a ball , a day at a time .I thank all my friends in theFellowship all over the world for all that I have .

Alex G.

Sober in Scotland

Alex's Mailbox - please share